![]() I could wake up each morning and remind myself that God is already pleased with me because of Jesus. Because Jesus kept the law perfectly and then traded places with us, we are made righteous in him (see 2 Corinthians 5:21). This was a massive paradigm shift in my thinking. Keen to find relief from my fearful and frenetic inner monologue, a light finally dawned while reading through Romans 8: “For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (v3-4, NKJV, emphasis mine).įor the first time it clicked for me that Jesus has already met all the righteous requirements of the law for me on my behalf! “Having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross” (Colossians 2:14). The overarching stressor in my life – which was tricky to pinpoint – was a deeply rooted belief that I was not good enough at meeting God’s high expectations, and therefore a disappointment. ![]() I was embarrassed to talk about it because I told myself I should just be grateful for the many blessings that I had in my life. I loved God, my family and my work, but I felt so much internal pressure to balance it all perfectly. I was frustrated that there never seemed to be enough hours in the day. Exhaustion from striving to be ‘righteous enough’ and ‘lovable enough’, even in my sleep-deprived state, caught up with my health. But as children were added to our family, demands on my time increased. A selfinflicted and undiagnosed pressure to constantly please God through performance bubbled under the surface.įor a while this was manageable, as long as I had plenty of time to complete my mental checklist. Sounds ideal, right?Īlthough I did usually say and do the ‘right things’ with a smile on my face, inside I was secretly riddled with insecurities and fears. I was a friendly pastor’s daughter with a Bible degree, working at a church, serving in a film ministry with her husband and helping in her son’s Sunday school class. If you had met me five years ago you may have thought I was the poster child for a ‘good Christian girl’.
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